So we’re already into the 2nd quarter of the year. Wow. I don’t want to be one of those people who just laments “Time flies” all the time. But time really did pass us by in a wink, didn’t it? Also, I said “2nd quarter of the year” in a piss-poor attempt to sound fancy. Clearly, it is a complete illusion for the absolute failure I’ve been for the… ahem, first quarter of the year.
2017, for me, has been a year of material change so far. I’ve accomplished the one thing I had been aiming to get done since… oh, I don’t know, some 2 years ago? Talk about procrastination. What I’m referring to is, of course, changing up my room. I was never happy about my room for some reason, but the specific idea I had for a “new” room included replacing my table and bookshelf, tearing down all memorabilia on my walls, redecorating said walls, and hanging some fairy lights like the #lifestyleblogger #roominspiration #basicbitch that I am. You can see why it took me 2 years to get my ass moving.
So, here’s where my total ineptness comes into play. One fine day at the magical Swedish land of IKEA, I convinced my friends that I could single-handedly carry a table home all by myself and fix it up. But alas, this was a place where my dreams came to die. I couldn’t even lift the package up, let alone channel my inner Bob the Builder. I did absolutely nothing save for passing rusting screwdrivers and wrenches while my friends were dragged into this mess I created. Two hours and a whole ton of shouting later, my table was finally up. And it remains the singular, most exquisite piece of mass-produced furniture I have ever laid eyes on. #noragrets
Along with my table was a mirror that I had also bought from IKEA during a later visit, which meant that I had to fix it up again. But, of course, I left it by my bedside for close to 2 months once again, safe and sound in its cardboard packaging. It was only when the magnified side of my then-mirror fell out did I decide it was probably time to switch mirrors (side note: I took another 3 weeks to make that decision). Also, how does a mirror just drop out of its frame like that?! Me, the destroyer of all things innocent and beautiful.
Moving ahead, late last month I got myself a new laptop. To give you an overview of my relationship with technology, my previous 2 laptops died on me within the first 3 months of purchase, and were riddled with all kinds of problems ever since – faulty trackpads, buzzing/loss of audio, the inability to use ‘enter’… You get the gist. Bottom line is, I hate technology, and it evidently hates me back too. Therefore, I only had two main considerations in buying a new laptop: 1) that it is easy to use 2) that it survives for at least 3 months. Sounds simple enough, right?
So what did I do instead? I, being an avid Windows user all my life, changed to a MacBook. Oh boy. Typing this, I can already hear my friend negging me at the back of my mind: “Stop complaining. A Mac is so much better and convenient in the long run!” And just to put it out there, I’m not trying to start a war between hardcore fans of Windows or Mac. I’m just trying to relay a story of how much suck I am.
Yet, detailing my unsurprising failures will orbit the length of this post into the moon, so I’m just gonna list them out in the most banal way possible:
- Only figured out how to connect the two parts of the charger together after 45 minutes and 3 friends later.
- Got locked out of my Apple ID.
- Managed to install a malware.
- Made my screen hang.
And this was all just within 12 hours of using it. Needless to say, there’s probably no way this laptop would break my 3-month curse. Oh well, a girl can hope.
Hey, but at the very least, I can’t possibly suck for another 9 straight months now, can I?