My week in food

The cooking adventures of a cooking idiot. That’s me alright!

I don’t cook in my daily life. Nobody trusts me to be in the kitchen, and I too do not trust myself. But with my mom gone for the week, I decided that this would be an opportune time to burn the house down.

Now I’ll admit that before this week, I was a bad cook. Terrible, in fact. My track record speaks for itself. I once left my instant noodles in the boiling pot for too long that all the water evaporated, and the noodles stuck to the pot. Sometime almost 2 years ago, I confidently told my sister and her boyfriend that we needed to salt the pasta while it was boiling. I ended up oversalting the pasta. Needless to say, after a whole day of touring and jetlag, nobody was too happy with me, and I was effectively banned from cooking during the whole month we travelled together.

But, in less than a month’s time, I’ll be heading to Australia with two other friends. Out of the three of us, I’m the one with the most… cooking experience. Now, how does that saying go…

We’re fucked.

But I’ve watched enough cooking shows and competitions (e.g. MasterChef Australia. And for anyone who watches it, you know just how many episodes one season contains…) to conjure a false sense of self-confidence towards my cooking capabilities. And I wasn’t about to eat microwaved, packaged food for the whole 2 weeks in Australia.

So with that, I present to you, my week in food:

corncowbisheggmeatball

Do I hear a collective “awwwww yiiiiiiiiiiiis” from the crowd? No? Just me? Okay.

AWWWWWW YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS.

I honestly surprised myself. 1) I didn’t cut any of my fingers off – not even a scratch, boi! 2) The house, as I last checked, is still standing 3) I’M STILL ALIVE from eating my food! This goes to show… If a person like me (whom as mentioned, fucked up cooking instant noodles, what??? Also, I don’t know how to use the microwave – just putting it out there) can cook, nothing is impossible!!! The heavens are singing. The earth is glowing. Oh, what wondrous times we live in!

Okay, yes, my meals basically consisted of the same 5 ingredients throughout the week. But hey, let me do me, okay? A small step for mankind, a huge step for me. I can safely say that, at the very least, I proved to be better than contestants in The Worst Cooks in America.

Unleashing my inner MasterChef was a truly empowering experience. Yet, with that said, I can’t wait for my mom to be back to start making all our meals again. I can’t stand another day of doing the dishes all by myself. Yes, cleaning up is:parks-and-recreation-Jean-Ralphio-the-worst-worst-woooorst-1372637673p

And I think we can all agree on that.

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