The Mummy: not my chosen film

I’ve been struggling to find the perfect angle to pen down my thoughts about The Mummy, but all my approaches eventually lead to intense frustration. And that’s all I have. I’m extremely frustrated with The Mummy.

So I’m just going to put this out there: I found The Mummy to be awful.

IMG_1655 copy.jpgThe Mummy (2017), which stars Tom Cruise, Annabelle Wallis, Sofia Boutella (the Mummy), and Russell Crowe (daddy af), relates the story of one Princess Ahmanet, who was cursed and mummified for thousands of years until present-day human idiots unearthed her. And that’s my main issue with the film: every action made by all characters is so illogical, whilst coupled with cliched dialogue, lots of shouting, and incredulous overacting. Not one character is believable, and more importantly, likeable. You know a film really goes to shit when you root for the antagonist to wipe out all of the human existence just to end this flippin’ movie.

The problem with The Mummy is that it never really found its footing. It tries to balance tension with comedy, but the consistently ineffective jump scares took away our ability to care anymore, while almost none of the jokes landed. The story itself tried to juggle so many different lofty ideals, and every single one of them didn’t pay off. Especially the Jekyll/Hyde theme, which is possibly the one flaw in this movie that really gets me going. (Now, I know this is technically a spoiler, but it is, in my honest opinion, so ridiculously redundant and does nothing for the film at all, so…) Back to my point. If you are going to include a Jekyll/Hyde character, and LITERALLY name him Jekyll/Hyde in a film that is not Jekyll/Hyde, that, to me, is incredibly lazy writing – and also about the time I stopped giving a damn about this movie. And that was just one of the many instances in the terrible screenplay. Okay, rant over.

The action sequences were fine – they were really fun, even. But that’s really about all the good things I can say about this film. If you’re looking for a movie with highly-energised action scenes, knock yourself out with The Mummy. But the editing of this film just did everyone injustice. We don’t need a million close-ups of someone lifting up his/her eyebrows or twitching his/her face. We don’t. Stop it. Please. Stop.

I do, however, have to say that Sofia Boutella as the titular Mummy is a fantastic choice, and she makes sucking people’s faces look incredibly fun that, as I said, I wished she’d just do the same to all the protagonists in this film.

So all in all, will I watch The Mummy again? No. Will I recommend The Mummy to the 5 friends I have in my life? No. But even after all of this, if you are still highly interested in catching The Mummy, then you do you. Live your life the way you want to because life is short. Unless, of course, you become a mummy.

Have you gotten a chance to catch The Mummy yet?

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